Silver Spoons

Sunday, September 19, 2004

Change

An old friend recently told me that I am too sissy.
I felt angry, upset, rejected, publicly humiliated…
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!
SOMETHING IS WRONG WITH ME!

I hate my face…
I hate my physique…
I hate my voice…
I hate my mentality…
I hate my behaviour…
I hate my attitude…
In short, I hate myself…
Now, I don’t even want to look at the person staring back at me in the mirror…
I have never felt so bad and depressed in my life.

Nevertheless, the comment sent me into a deep reflection about myself.
After all these years of being a sissy, I finally had it…
I must change… Yes, change! That’s what I must do… CHANGE!
After so much lamenting over the years, so many words spoken but no action taken, these are the things which I must do :-

Work
1) Find a better job which commands better pay and gives more benefits – Must find more money to buy a house, a car and to support a family. Of course, there’s always the catch to look out for…

Physical
1) Buff up – I am too thin. I want to be a meterosexual without looking sissy, ‘lala’ or ‘Ah Beng’ (country bumpkin who is a super-star wannabe). Must find a gym and go for workout on weekends.
2) Be more rugged – I give people the nerdy impression… Must look more sporty and athletic. (Mental note : In case Malaysia is doing a programme ala ‘Extreme Makeover, must apply to redo my ugly face).
3) Reduce hand gestures and body language – I do too much hand gestures that send people flying away. Must cut down on rolling my eyeballs as well.
4) Throw away old clothes and buy new ones – Got to get more money for that matter.
5) Launch vanity fair – Whiten my teeth. Dye my hair, maybe? Considering LASIK at the moment…

Mental
1) Be less fussy – Have to abstain myself from taking care of my books too much. (Yes people, I scold those who introduce even the slightest dent into the pages of my books).
2) Be more decisive and less ‘por na’ (means indecisive, not porno, people) – Have to stop myself from rambling to people and beating around the bush when deciding on an issue.
3) Exploration – Must drive around town and the outskirts as well. Don’t want to be categorised as ‘sua ku’ (frog under the coconut shell). I currently rely too much on ladies for driving me around…
4) Must get more guy friends – My best friends are all girls at the moment… (Ya, you are right, something is definitely wrong with me…).
5) Be more playful – I am too serious…

Activities
1) Learn to take alcoholic drinks – Not cheap booze, but refined wine… Have to entertain other male colleagues if have the chance… But cannot take too much (price of alcoholic drinks just went up recently).
2) Clubbing – Have just been to karaoke (No, I don’t know how to sing, I just yell at the mic). Must learn clubbing soon. I would love to dance. Hopefully I won’t look like a squid. Any expert dancers here who can become my ‘guru’?
3) Must learn to listen to rock and heavy metal music - I am too into oldies, classics and new age music at the moment… Oh, and female divas for that matter (Barbra Streisand, Celine Dion, Dido, Enya, Mariah Carey, Sarah Brightman, Whitney Houston? What’s wrong with me, people??!!! Oh, but I still love Enigma and Oasis).

4) Have to force myself to watch football and join sports - Guys who are not sporty are not man enough...
5) Should I stop blogging? – Are blogging only for bored people who have no life? (Sorry bloggers, no offence)…

Will I be able to change so many things in a year? Ok, stop being so indecisive, Figlio Perduto… Support and pray for me, people… I am on my way for an extreme makeover… For the sake of myself and the humanity…

P/S : There’s one thing however, that I don’t think I can change… Being sarcastic and ‘mulut celupar’, my life would be boring without it… *PEACE AND JOY TO THE WORLD*

2 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home